Long time no blog. 6 months, in fact. (Woops!) Life. Has. Been. Cray.
It is amazing how much we change and grow throughout life, but even more so as a young adult. As I sit here writing this post, I can most certainly say that 2017 has trekked me through some of the most uncomfortable and uncertain terrains I have ever experienced in life. Before I get into those, I will start with a little backstory.
Basically, from the time I came out of the womb until, well…recently, I have always been a planner – a perfectionist in the form of feeling like I could control life’s fortunate and unfortunate events. I have always been someone who sets my eyes on a goal/dream and doesn’t let it go: a go-getter, if you will. Being an only child probably had a huge influence on this facet of my personality. It is who I am. I always set my expectations high and refuse to settle… which leads to disappointment sometimes. A lot of times. Anyway, up until this point in life, I’d always attained most of what I wanted and hadn’t had too many setbacks. This semester, my perspective changed quite a bit.
I put my all into my application for nursing school and got rejected. My ex-fiance and I broke off our engagement. I almost lost my certification with my job by not reapplying by the deadline. And… all of this happened in a span of two months. It probably isn’t hard to believe that I felt like my life was falling apart. (Okay. I still feel this way.)
There are times where I randomly break down (even in public) feeling like a failure and being completely lost and confused as to what to do next. Should I continue pursuing nursing? Will I ever have the happy ending/relationship I desire? What if I never graduate college? What if I’m stuck with the job I have forever? These questions run through my head a lot of the time. It’s hard when all of your peers on social media seem to be doing so well… graduating college, working at their dream jobs, getting married and starting families, etc.
These obstacles have taught me to become okay with not knowing what is going to happen tomorrow and to just live full in the present; NOW. It wasn’t until recently that I actually understood that cliche idea of “you’ve got to struggle before you can get to where you want to be.”
My faith now is stronger than it’s ever been, thanks to uncertainty.